No More Chocolate Than Usual
I am not a starry eyed romantic to say the least.
Valentines Day simply reminds me how sheep-like most people are in devotion to cultural expectations that are little more than marketing tactics. Remember, the ads seen to say, if you truly love your sweetie you will spend until your budget strains and make her every wish come true.
My sweet husband, Chris, grew up in a family where holidays and birthdays were a much bigger deal than in my family. For the romantic occasions, say Valentines or a wife's birthday, I have never know my father-in-law not to do something nice. If I know my mother-in-law, she set her expectations early on (advice I always give to young women; you teach him how he can treat you!) that she wants the romance, respect, and presents.
I've written before about my childhood's lack of Halloween, so it should come as no surprise that Valentines did not bring romantic cards or flowers from Dad to Mom. Dad making dinner would be a fire hazard. Reservations? The man does not order pizza. And of course, Dad was gone so much in the early years of their marriage with the Navy that being home on a holiday was a rare treat in itself.
There are holidays that I wish I had a more emotional connection with than I do. First on the list is Halloween. I would even like an extra dose of Christmas Spirit.
Not on the list is St. Valentines Day. I don't care. I don't care that I don't care.
I still feel bad, however, about our first Valentines Day together. It was February 2000. We had moved into our first apartment at the beginning of the month. Chris went out of his way (walking, we had no car) to make a nice Valentines showing. He did the traditional dozen red roses, heart shaped box of chocolates and a teddy bear with a red bow tie.
While Chris did not expect a fancy piece of men's jewelry, I know he would have loved for me to be thrilled at his loving thoughtfulness. Maybe I should never have admitted that I think roses are a waste of money, plus not my favorite flower (lilacs). I could have even made an effort to eat the candy. While I love chocolate, I don't like chocolates. Give me a Hershey bar. I did love my teddy bear. Have him to this day.
Overall, it was a bit of an ouch for Chris' ego. Still, I am glad I told him the truth. Last year, I got a stuffed tiger for Valentines day. And my beloved makes sure there is always high quality chocolate in the house for my daily pleasure. If that is not love and romance, I don't understand Cupid.
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